Jak dlouho \u017eije my\u0161?
\nTo z\u00e1le\u017e\u00ed na ko\u010dce.<\/p>\n
Pan\u00ed u\u010ditelka se pt\u00e1 d\u011bt\u00ed:
\n„Kdopak mi, d\u011bti, \u0159ekne, n\u011bjak\u00fd p\u0159\u00edpad fale\u0161nosti ko\u010dek?“
\n„J\u00e1“ hl\u00e1s\u00ed se Ferda. „N\u00e1\u0161 t\u00e1ta p\u0159inesl dom\u016f ko\u010dku, ale pak se uk\u00e1zalo, \u017ee je to kocour!“<\/p>\n
Pov\u00edd\u00e1 takhle ko\u010dka praseti:“J\u00e1 v\u00edm co z tebe bude,a\u017e vyroste\u0161!“
\n„Jo? Tys \u010detla m\u016fj horoskop?“
\n„Ne, kucha\u0159ku!“<\/p>\n
Dv\u011b ko\u010dky sed\u00ed p\u0159ed klec\u00ed a mlsn\u011b pozoruj\u00ed pt\u00e1\u010dka, kter\u00fd si v n\u00ed vesele poskakuje a prozp\u011bvuje. Jedna\u00a0 ko\u010dka se naklon\u00ed k t\u00e9 druh\u00e9 a uva\u017euje nahlas: „To asi nebude kan\u00e1rek,co?Kan\u00e1rci b\u00fdvaj\u00ed \u017elut\u00ed a tenhle je zelen\u00fd.“Druh\u00e1 ko\u010dka moud\u0159e pok\u00fdv\u00e1 hlavou a pak vychytrale za\u0161ept\u00e1:“T\u0159eba je\u0161t\u011b nen\u00ed dost zralej!“<\/p>\n
P\u0159ijde pan\u00ed k veterin\u00e1\u0159i a st\u011b\u017euje si, \u017ee jej\u00ed ko\u010dka m\u00e1 ka\u017edou chv\u00edli ko\u0165ata. Veterin\u00e1\u0159 rad\u00ed: „Tak nepou\u0161t\u011bjte ko\u010di\u010dku ven.“ Zanedlouho se uk\u00e1\u017ee, \u017ee i p\u0159es tuto radu bude m\u00edt ko\u010dka znovu ko\u0165ata. Veterin\u00e1\u0159 tedy pan\u00ed nav\u0161t\u00edv\u00ed a div\u00ed se: „V\u017edy\u0165 vy m\u00e1te vedle ko\u010dky je\u0161t\u011b kocoura!“ „No j\u00f3, ale s t\u00edm to ur\u010dit\u011b nem\u00e1, toje jej\u00ed br\u00e1cha!“<\/p>\n
Pt\u00e1 se mal\u00e1 my\u0161 maminky: mami, a co to je, ten jed na my\u0161i? V\u00ed\u0161, n\u011bco moc o\u0161kliv\u00e9ho. N\u011bco jako ko\u010dka v pr\u00e1\u0161ku.<\/p>\n
Kocour jako o \u017eivot nah\u00e1n\u00ed ko\u010dku. Ko\u010dka na n\u011bj:“Kocoure nebl\u00e1zni,v\u017edy\u0165 j\u00e1 nejsem my\u0161.A kdo \u0159\u00edkal, \u017ee m\u00e1m hlad?“<\/p>\n
\u010cty\u0159i p\u0159\u00e1tel\u00e9, in\u017een\u00fdr, chemik, \u00fa\u010detn\u00ed a st\u00e1tn\u00ed \u00fa\u0159edn\u00edk, se rozpov\u00eddali o sv\u00fdch ko\u010dk\u00e1ch a jejich p\u0159ednostech a inteligenci. Aby p\u0159edvedl svou ko\u010dku, pov\u00edd\u00e1 in\u017een\u00fdr: „\u0160roubku, uka\u017e co um\u00ed\u0161!“ A \u0160roubek vysko\u010dil na st\u016fl, vzal do paci\u010dek tu\u017eku a na kus pap\u00edru nakreslil \u010dtverec, troj\u00faheln\u00edk a kruh. V\u0161ichni uznale pok\u00fdvali hlavou. Tu \u00fa\u010detn\u00ed zavolal na svou ko\u010dku: „Fakturko, p\u0159edve\u010f se!“ Fakturka odb\u011bhla do kuchyn\u011b a p\u0159inesla podnos pln\u00fd su\u0161enek. Su\u0161enky rozd\u011blila do sloupe\u010dk\u016f, tak aby v ka\u017ed\u00e9m sloupe\u010dku bylo stejn\u011b su\u0161enek. Op\u011bt v\u0161ichni uznale pok\u00fdvali hlavou. Pak zavolal chemik: „Trichloretyl\u00e9ne, do toho!“ A Trichloretyl\u00e9n odb\u011bhl do kuchyn\u011b a donesl ml\u00e9ko a \u010dty\u0159i skleni\u010dky a do ka\u017ed\u00e9 z nich nalil p\u0159esn\u011b 100 mililitr\u016f ml\u00e9ka a p\u0159itom mu neuk\u00e1pla ani kapka. I tentokr\u00e1t pok\u00fdvali v\u0161ichni uznale hlavou a obr\u00e1tili sv\u00e9 pohledy na st\u00e1tn\u00edho \u00fa\u0159edn\u00edka. Ten jen zavolal: „Rauchpauzo, za\u010dni!“ A Rauchpauza vysko\u010dila na stolek, se\u017erala v\u0161echny su\u0161enky, vypila v\u0161echno ml\u00e9ko, pak vyhnala ven ostatn\u00ed ko\u010dky, post\u011b\u017eovala si, \u017ee ji od toho bol\u00ed v z\u00e1dech, sepsala rozho\u0159\u010denou st\u00ed\u017enost na nehygienick\u00e9 pracovn\u00ed podm\u00ednky, vyplnila \u017e\u00e1dost o n\u00e1hradu \u0161kody, hodila se marod a ode\u0161la na zbytek dne dom\u016f.<\/p>\n
Kocour si uprost\u0159ed noci na st\u0159e\u0161e namlouv\u00e1 ko\u010dku, chod\u00ed kolem n\u00ed a lichot\u00ed j\u00ed. Ko\u010dka po\u0159\u00e1d nic, a\u017e j\u00ed kocour za\u0161ept\u00e1 do ucha: „Um\u0159el bych pro tebe…“ A na to se ko\u010dka zept\u00e1: „A kolikr\u00e1t?“<\/p>\n
„Papou\u0161ek se je\u0161t\u011b nevr\u00e1til do klece,“ \u0159\u00edk\u00e1 maminka Jan\u011b. „Nev\u00ed\u0161, kde je?“ „Ne, maminko, ale p\u0159ed chv\u00edl\u00ed jsem sly\u0161ela mluvit ko\u010dku.“<\/p>\n
Kolob\u011bh strachu je nekone\u010dn\u00fd: my\u0161 se boj\u00ed ko\u010dky, ko\u010dka psa, pes sv\u00e9ho p\u00e1na, p\u00e1n sv\u00e9 pan\u00ed a pan\u00ed se boj\u00ed my\u0161i…<\/p>\n
Mu\u017e nen\u00e1vid\u011bl ko\u010dku sv\u00e9 \u017eeny a rozhodl se j\u00ed zbavit. Odvezl j\u00ed 5 kilometr\u016f od domu a nechal tam ko\u010dku. Kdy\u017e p\u0159ij\u00ed\u017ed\u011bl zp\u011bt ke sv\u00e9mu domu, ko\u010dka u\u017e tam byla a proch\u00e1zela se po dvo\u0159e. Dal\u0161\u00ed den se rozhodl nechat ko\u010dku 10 km od domu, ale ko\u010dka byla op\u011bt doma d\u0159\u00edv ne\u017e on. Ka\u017ed\u00fd den zvy\u0161oval vzd\u00e1lenost a odv\u00e1\u017eel ko\u010dku d\u00e1l a d\u00e1l, ale ko\u010dka se st\u00e1le vracela dom\u016f je\u0161t\u011b p\u0159ed n\u00edm. Nakonec se rozhodl jet n\u011bkolik hodin, zahnul doprava, pak doleva, p\u0159ejel most, zase doprava a je\u0161t\u011b doprava a tak d\u00e1le kli\u010dkoval dokud nedojel tam kde si myslel \u017ee je to naprosto nezapamatovateln\u00e9 m\u00edsto a nechal tam ko\u010dku. O p\u00e1r hodin pozd\u011bji vol\u00e1 mu\u017e dom\u016f jeho \u017een\u011b a pt\u00e1 se j\u00ed, \u201eJe doma ko\u010dka?\u201c
\n\u201eAno, pro\u010d se pt\u00e1\u0161?\u201c Odpov\u011bd\u011bla jeho \u017eena. Naprosto zni\u010den\u00fd mu\u017e \u0159\u00edk\u00e1, \u201eDej mi j\u00ed k\u00a0telefonu, ztratil jsem se a pot\u0159ebuji poradit.\u201c<\/p>\n
Velmi star\u00e1 d\u00e1ma je na sv\u00e9 verand\u011b a sed\u00ed v\u00a0houpac\u00edm k\u0159esle. Najednou se p\u0159ed n\u00ed zjev\u00ed dobr\u00e1 v\u00edla a \u0159\u00edk\u00e1 j\u00ed, \u017ee j\u00ed spln\u00ed t\u0159i p\u0159\u00e1n\u00ed.<\/p>\n
„Dob\u0159e“ \u0159\u00edk\u00e1 star\u00e1 d\u00e1ma, „Mysl\u00edm, \u017ee bych cht\u011bla b\u00fdt opravdu bohat\u00e1.“
\n*** STANE SE *** Jej\u00ed houpac\u00ed k\u0159eslo se zm\u011bnilo ve zlato.<\/p>\n
„Tak\u00e9 bych byla r\u00e1da mlad\u00e1 a kr\u00e1sn\u00e1.“
\n*** STANE SE *** A je z\u00a0n\u00ed najednou mlad\u00e1 a velmi kr\u00e1sn\u00e1 d\u00edvka.<\/p>\n
„Tv\u00e9 t\u0159et\u00ed p\u0159\u00e1n\u00ed?“ \u017d\u00e1d\u00e1 dobr\u00e1 v\u00edla zrovna kdy\u017e\u00a0 p\u0159ed nimi proch\u00e1z\u00ed kocour star\u00e9 d\u00e1my.
\n„Ach … m\u016f\u017eete zm\u011bnit m\u00e9ho kocoura v pohledn\u00e9ho prince?“ Zept\u00e1 se nyn\u00ed ji\u017e mlad\u00e1 a kr\u00e1sn\u00e1 d\u00edvka.<\/p>\n
*** STANE SE *** A najednou p\u0159ed n\u00ed stoj\u00ed mlad\u00fd mu\u017e, v\u011bt\u0161\u00ed fe\u0161\u00e1k ne\u017e by si kdokoliv mohl p\u0159edstavit.
\nNem\u016f\u017ee z\u00a0n\u011bj odtrhnout o\u010di a cel\u00e1 se t\u0159ese nap\u011bt\u00edm, nebo\u0165 se pomal\u00fdm krokem bl\u00ed\u017e\u00ed k\u00a0n\u00ed. Pomalu se k\u00a0n\u00ed s\u00a0\u00fasm\u011bvem naklon\u00ed a za\u0161ept\u00e1 j\u00ed do ucha: \u201eVsad\u00edm se, \u017ee lituje\u0161, \u017ee jsi m\u011b nechala vykastrovat\u201c.<\/p>\n
Jdou dv\u011b ko\u010dky po pou\u0161ti a jedna pov\u00edd\u00e1: \u201eHergot, tady to ale muselo klouzat!\u201c \u201ePro\u010d mysl\u00ed\u0161?\u201c \u201eNo, \u017ee to tak sypali!\u201c<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Vtipy o ko\u010dk\u00e1ch pro dobrou n\u00e1ladu.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":283,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.steliva.cz\/kocici-zivot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.steliva.cz\/kocici-zivot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.steliva.cz\/kocici-zivot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.steliva.cz\/kocici-zivot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.steliva.cz\/kocici-zivot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=93"}],"version-history":[{"count":24,"href":"https:\/\/www.steliva.cz\/kocici-zivot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":116,"href":"https:\/\/www.steliva.cz\/kocici-zivot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93\/revisions\/116"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.steliva.cz\/kocici-zivot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/283"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.steliva.cz\/kocici-zivot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=93"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.steliva.cz\/kocici-zivot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=93"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.steliva.cz\/kocici-zivot\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=93"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}